Tag Archives: toilets

Stupid toilet bint

22 Nov

I am in an actual, proper full-on rage. I’m seething. Seething.

I went to the toilet, walking along the corridor with a spring in my step. For once I’m not stressing about anyone being in my cubicle, just skipping along all happy go lucky. I push open the door to the toilets, and to my utter delight, I see that my cubicle is vacant. Hurrah! All is right with the world!

I daunder over to cubicle second from the left, big ole grin on my face, ready to do my business. Push open to cubicle door and stop dead in my tracks. My heart sinks, and my glee turns to mortified horror. I physically feel sick at the sight.

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World Toilet Day

19 Nov


Apparently, today is World Toilet Day. The above link lets you track how far your flush has gone. My morning flush apparently travelled 1.81 miles away from me today. How exciting.

I will celebrate by throwing a party in cubicle second from the left. No one else is invited. Get your skanky bitch self out of my cubicle love, you can’t share the celebration.

How will you celebrate?

I think I’ve made a mistake

22 Oct

Why oh why did I leave cubilce 2nd from the left?! Toilet on the far right has constantly diasappointed me today. The flush is aboslute gash, so everytime I go to the toilet, I’m greeted with someone else’s left over filth. Gadz!

I feel like cubicle 2nd in from the left is punishing me. It’s told it’s pal that I’m just a toilet slut, not willing to put in the hard work and dedication to making the relationship last. As soon as there’s a problem, instead of staying and fighting, I run. Vamoosh. I don’t try and work out our problems, I just go and find some other cubicle to saitsfy my needs.
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On the far right

15 Oct

Cubicle on the far right, you are now Judy’s Toilet of Choice. The lighting was just right. Not too dark (like cubicle far left), or too light (2 in from left). The perfect ambiance.

2 in from the left-you’re dead to me.

Time for a change

15 Oct

It’s just not the same. I don’t get the same satisafaction, the same sense of comfort. It’s just…different. It feels like…like I’m in a foreign country, no sense of being at home.

I am of course talking about my cubicle. Ever since the lightbulb has been changed, the whole atmosphere is different. It’s too bright. Far too bright. The cubicle just radiates light and makes it appear all clinical. Nothing homely about it at all. I don’t feel the same level of stress and anxiety now on the walk to the toilets. I just feel…nothing. You know, I don’t think I would even care if someone else was using that cubicle. I would just shrug my shoulders and use a different stall. Maybe 3 in from the left?
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Close call

10 Sep

Just as I walked into the toilets at work, some new chick was walking out of MY cubicle. Woah, woah, woah love!! What do you think you’re playing at?! This is MINE.

She got the dirtiest look ever from me. There are 3 other stalls love, use them! Thankfully she didn’t make a mess of MY cubicle, otherwise I would’ve sent her back in to clean up her filth. Have a bit of respect love. That toilet is MINE.