Tag Archives: men


24 Mar

Don’t you just fucking hate Disney? The idea of a prince coming to sweep you off your feet, and whisk you away to a world of happiness. Together, you will live happily ever after.

Aye, bullshit.

They don’t prepare you for what a real relationship is like. Nothing about jealousy, lies, trust issues. They don’t mention any of the bad parts. Stupid fucking Disney. How are girls meant to cope in real life! What are we meant to do when it’s not all happy endings? Not all smiles and romantic kisses? What are we meant to do when shit gets real?

I have no idea.

I properly have no idea. I am completely lost. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be in a proper relationship. Sometimes I think I can’t do it. I’m not meant to be in a serious relationship. With past boyfs, when things have gotten a bit shit, or we’ve had an argument, then BOOM! Relationship over. I’m like Chandler. When it starts to get too real, then it’s time to walk away.

But I don’t wanna do that. I wanna be in a relationship. A proper relationship. Just don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing!

And so, Walt Disney, I am blaming you. Why did you never show us girls what life is like after the happy ever after? Would it really be that bad to see Aladdin and Jasmine have an arguement over living arrangements? Or for Snow White’s Prince to show hunnerz o jealousy cos she’s hanging out with 7 men all the time? That would make for interesting viewing. That would help us out in the future!



Judy’s Quest For A Man: Where are they now?

20 Feb

I have had a special request from wee Ems for a follow up blog about the other men in the blog. Mind there was a time before Slappy? That seems so long ago!

So aye, men!

Mr Brewhaha
Well, Mr Brewhaha is now Mr Costa. Brewhaha closed down, so he moved next door. Don’t really speak to him anymore, just the odd Facyb comment once in a blue moon. Which is a shame, he’s a nice guy. But, well, you know how it is. Last time I spoke/saw him was just before I went home for Christmas, aka AGES ago. Dunno if he still reads this, but if you are, hope you’re doing well pal!

HunkyArms still has hunky arms. Aye, he’s still at abc, working away. But you know what, its not awkward at all. We still get on like a house on fire, so aye, that’s all well! Him and Slappz are also good pals, so we’re all one big happy family. He’s still single, so any (attractive) ladies with an arm fetish, get in touch!

Me and Barony haven’t actually spoken since our last smooch. Oh well! Mind his band, Two Zebras? It seems to be going well. He’s got a new single coming out soon, and a few shows lined up. I think he’s moving abroad soon, maybz Holland, so I probs wont see him again. But aye, still a nice guy. Hope his band does well, he’s quite a talented wee chap!

So there you are, wee Ems. 😀

Like an old married couple

27 Jan

Yep. Me and Slappz have just skipped the whole “dating” part and gone straight to being an old married couple (OMC). Except we’re not old. And he wont marry me.

So you know at the start of a relationship, it’s normally all about going out for dinner, to the cinema, and doing generaly datey things. Nah, sack that. We’ve skipped right over that! We go out for a few bevs with some of the work folk, but apart from that we’ve just gone into OMC mode. We just go around to each other’s flats, cook each other dinner, and just hang out. Maybe watch a bit of TV, maybe have a wee bang. And you know what? It’s great!  Just hanging out, getting to know each other more and just you know…it’s so lovely!

Last night, I felt like the ultimate housewife. I went round to Slappy’s for a snugglehour. He was going to meet his pal at the pub, and I didn’t want to go ruin their reunion (and I was pure knackz), so I stayed in his bed. So he’s out at the pub with his mates, and I’m in his bed watching TV. Waiting up for him. Kept checking my watch, being all “When’s Slappy getting home?” Got a text being like “I’ll be home soon, just having another drink” “No worries, I’m going to bed” “I’ll try not to wake you”. Like an OMC.

And you know what? It’s great! I mean, we’re gonna go out for dinner and that, when we get paid, but jsut hanging out, doing nothing is just….super. I know some couples always complain “we never go out, we never do anything, we just sit around”, but not me. I don’t care if we’re sitting watching Channel 4, or out having a meal. Al lthat matters is that I’m with Slappy.

(Pass me the vom bucket aye!)

Judy McSlapperson

25 Jan

Aren’t I a loser? x

Slappy times

24 Jan

Aye, fuck what he says! I’m blogging about Slappy McSlapperson till I die. Or he dumps me.

So yeah, things are going rather well. We’ve now been an official item for 2 weeks and one day. Oooh er!! And during this, we’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Let me see, in the 15 days of being bf/gf, we’ve spent….8 nights together, and some time during the day at work and that. Jeezo. That’s more than half. MORE THAN HALF!! Check us out!

Not only have we spent like…all our time together, but get this. He’s got his own toothbrush at my flat. His very own toothbrush, sat in the holder next to mine. Woah. Woah a rama. How great is that?! We are deffz getting married within the month.

Yesterday he met the Skype Slutz (minus Popsickle), and tonight he’s meeting some of the Ladz. I’ve already met his best mate, and me and his brother are total bmfl (I think I love him). We’re basically married. Judy McSlapperson, got a nice ring to it.

You know I’m always like, get WELL into a guy, but he doesn’t really like me back. Well, not this time. Slappy well likes me. For once, the feeling is mutual 😀 Yaaay!!

Guys, I’m so happy 😀


16 Jan

Oh, you’re all keen! Finally, all your curiosity is to be resolved. Who is Slappy McSlapperson? Who is this amazing demon in the sack? And as the mystery man is revealed…

Ah, no one cares!!


How many men will I bang in 2011?

27 Dec



Lol jk. (is that better Bagarella? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!)

So how is my love life going? Very well pal, very well indeed!! Despite all those drunken ramblings I sent him, Slappy is still sticking around. Hallejuah! I must be doing something right. Being cool, that’s what.

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