Ladz, the most amazing thing is in town this weekend. No, not Vanilla Ice, and certainly not the circus. Something better than those two put together and covered in spaghetti hoops. The Wedding Fare.
Yes, that’s right!!! This weekend, in George Square is The Wedding Fare. How fucking amazing!! Was driving home last night from bar job (remember, not umeployed!!) and see this beautiful, big white marquee all set up and ready to go. I curiously look to see what it’s all about and BOOM!!! My heart just about jumps out of my wee car!! The Wedding Fare!!! Aaaaaaah!!!
Do you even know what that means?! That means hunnerz, and I mean hunnerz, of wedding related sales people all under one beautiful marquee. They’ll be people who do cakes, people who do invites, and most importantly,people who do dresses!!!! I’m gonna try on ten!! Ten!!! Aaaaah!! WEDDING DRESSES!!!! Oh man, I hope they’re cheap. If they are cheap enough I might buy one. Oooooh!! I’m gonna get SO many goody bags! I mean, just think of all the fre wedding stuff I can get!!! Just think. So many brochures, so many invitation samples. Wowza!!
Howevez, there is one problem. I don’t have an engagement ring. So going around all the stalls and vendors, they will look at my left hand, see there’s no ring and just think “urgh, she’s not getting married, she’s just some sad loser in by herself”. Their looks of disgust would break my heart and ruin my enthusiasm. To combat this, I need to buy myself a ring! One of those wee sparkly numbers from Claire’s Accessories ought to do the trick. That’ll prove to these vendors that I am not some single loser prancing around the far for my fake wedding. No. They will take me seriously, and give me their best offers.
I am beyond excited.
