Tag Archives: arms

Kiss More Frogs

9 Nov

Disaster! HunkyArms called things off last night. He doesn’t want to get involved with anyone from work. He told me this when we first got it on, so its nothing new. Oh well. HunkyArms, you are Hunky. We’ll stay pals probs and who knows what might happen in the future?! But for the moment, thats the end of HunkyArms and Judy.

This is why I try to keep my options open, and kiss a few frogs at the same time. Imagine I rested all my hoped on HunkyArms and then he just cancelled on me! Rage! I don’t think anything more will happen with Barony. Probs just the old snog here and there, but I know it wont develop into a relationship anytime soon. So that leaves me resting everything on Mr Brewhaha. I don’t wanna be in that situation just yet, so looks like its time to go out and kiss more frogs.

Men of Glasgow, beware!

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Thank You Mother Nature!!!!

8 Nov

Blob central, so NO BABY!!! Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!! No giving birth to a wee Polar Bear with massive arms anytime soon. Whoop whoop!!!!! I’m so happy!

See you in a couple of years Magnus, you will DEFFZ be getting a bike!

Condom

7 Nov

Sang to the tune of “Monster” by The Automatic

Had sex last night with HunkyArms
With HunkyArms, With HunkyArms
Thought to myself “what’s the harm?”
What’s the harm, what’s the harm?!

Woke up with a sore tummy
Sore tummy, Sore tummy
Maybe its just a hangover
Feel crummy, feel crummy
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Man Update

7 Nov

I apologise for not keeping you more informed of Judy’s Quest For A Man. Please forgive me.

Right, where were we? Oh yes, last Friday’s date with Mr Brewhaha. Well, yeah it went quite well!! Met him for a few bevs and a chat. He really is a lovely guy. Just chatted about life and general shite etc. My bessie mate Wreckage was up for the weekend, so I met him for a few bevs beforehand. By the time I met Mr Brewhaha, I had several pints and a few shots of sambuca, so the date is a bit hazy! But yes. It was good. Had a wee snog at the end, high five. Since the date, we’ve been on the old text, and I’ve stopped off at Brewhaha for some chats. He is lovely. So yes, its all going well there, I think.

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What else is hiding up there?!

1 Nov

I’m just…so shocked!! Just you know, having a pee, wiping up any spills, and oh look- here’s a used condom. Aye cheers life.

Fuck sake. What will tomorrow morning’s pee bring? Perhaps that DVD I lost a couple of years back will pay me a visit. Who knows.

Well that was unexpected

1 Nov

I just went to the toilet. As I was wiping, a condom fell out my vagina.

It’d been stuck up there for roughly 12 hours. That might explain my sore stomach.

Looks like it’s the morning after pill before work tomorrow. FML.

What a long weekend

18 Oct

Aye, so sorry for lack of blog over the weekend, but I basically had no time to eat, let alone blog away!!

This weekend consisted of reunions, beer and work. There is a guy at work who I’m in love him, so aye, add HunkyArms to the list. Honestly, his arms are just hunky as! Obviously not in Rugby’s league, but Mmmm!! HUNKY!!

Was working about 2 meters away from HunkyArms on Saturday night. Let me tell you something, trying to make 15 Jaegerbombs whilst those muscular, manly arms are brushing past you, glistening in the romantic Polar Bar lights is no easy feat. Obvz, I managed (I’m good at my job), but ooft! Had to go sit in the cellar and cool myself off.

HunkyArms, I love you. Next staff night out- you’re gonna get it.