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14 Mar

I am having a mare.

 I bought a mirror from IKEA on Saturday, and am trying to hang it on the wall. It comes with brackets, so need to screw the brackets into the wall, and then hang the mirror on them. Simple aye?

NAH! Is it fuck!!!  Continue reading


Wedding Chat

10 Mar

This is terrible. One of the galz in the office’s sister is getting married, so this morning it’s been hunnerz of wedding chat. Hunnerz!

She keeps complaining about how unorganised it is, and how nothing’s been done, and its all a bit hectic and last minute. She said there is no way her wedding would be like that, it would be organised to the tee.

So of course, that’s set me off! Now I’m sat here thinking about what my wedding would be like. Who to invite, where the ceremony will take place.  I mean, the weddings not till June 2014, but there’s still so much to think about.  Continue reading

Go Fuck Yoursel, Vanilla Ice

6 Mar

As you know, next Friday, that cunt Vanilla Ice is coming to Ayr. I got excited and booked it off work, so I could go see him, and touch him, and make him love me.

But, I’ve decided that that dickwad can go fuck himself. He doesn’t appreciate his fans! He wouldn’t care that I came 30 odd miles to go see him, to marvel in his glory. He proberly wouldn’t even glimpse in my direction.

So fuck you Vanilla Ice. You are dead to me.

16 minutes

3 Mar

I waited on the fucking line for 16 minutes to tell the tax office that I’m no longer self employed. And what did they say? To send them in a letter. A fucking letter. A FUCKING LETTER!!!!

The website said to phone them, and so I spent fuck knwo hows much money trying t oget through to a fucking advisor. And what do they tell me? WRITE A FUCKING LETTER!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!! I don’t think I have EVER been this annoyed with the fucking HM Revenues!! GRRRRR!! Fucking fuck fuck fuck

Tax doesn’t have to be taxing

3 Mar


I need to unregister as self-employed, since I’m now properly employed. So I need to phone the tax office to alert them to a change in my circumstances. As I type, I am currently on hold to speak to a tax advisor. For the FOURTH time!! Four times I’ve tried to call and unregister, and 4 times I’ve been on hold!! For an 0845 number!! My phone bill is going to be MASSIVE!

Grrrrr!! The most annoying thing is the funky music they play while you’re on hold. What are they playing at? Are they trying to get rid of my stress by playing some upbeat shitey techno?! Well they are failing!! What really ruins it is that automated phone bitch interrupting the funky beats every so often with “Thanks for waiting, one of our advisors will be with you as soon as possible”. Well they fucking better be, they better be mate!! I’m sat here calling an expensive phone numbr from a mobile, someone better be with me as soon as possible!! And they better tell me I have a tax rebate, because this fucking phonecall is likely to cost me £12,000!!!!

Hurry up tax line. Cut the funky music and put me on to Steve, Tax Adviosry man.

Tomatoes :(

21 Feb

I actually can’t believe I’m giving up tomatoes. I don’t know how I’m going to cope! I ALWAYS cook with tomatoes. Always! What am I going to do?! I mean…it’s not like, if you give up meat, you can replace that with Quorn. THere isn’t a tomato substitute eh. I mean…mushrooms are great, fan-fucking-tastic, but like, they’re totally different to my tommybabes. Completel different.

What on earth am I going to do?! What can I use instead?! Urgh. Slappybabes, you OWE me!

Fucking Facebook

9 Feb

Fucking Facebook!!! Mind how I hilariously changed my name to Judy McSlapperson? Well, I decided that that is a stupid name, so I changed it back to good ole Judy Frary (cos you know, Frary is /much/ less stupid). I also updated lots of info, such as changed my work info, stuff I liked, AND my about me section. I’ve also uploaded two different profile pics. Two.

But low and behold. Every fucking time I log into Facebook, what do I see? Judy McSlapperson, complete with outdated profile info and old profile pic. Fuck SAKE!! And all the posts on my wall are from fucking ages ago. Oh wait, I just clicked on my profile to get an example, and now it’s got all my current activity. All my updated info, profile pic and all my latest comments.  REFRESH THE PAGE. Oh look, old profile pic. Old activity. Old comments. FUCK SAKE!!

I even went on the help pages to try and sort it out. They are fucking useless. Nae help in the slightest. NAE!! Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!
Sort it out Facebook!! I might revert to fucking Bebo!