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I should clarify…

24 Mar

Me and Slappy aren’t going through a rough patch or having a massive argument or anything like that. So, sadly, no dramatic break up blogs anytime soon. Just sad that it can’t stay all rosy and peachy forever, like Disney promised it would. Stupid Disney.

Disney

24 Mar

Don’t you just fucking hate Disney? The idea of a prince coming to sweep you off your feet, and whisk you away to a world of happiness. Together, you will live happily ever after.

Aye, bullshit.

They don’t prepare you for what a real relationship is like. Nothing about jealousy, lies, trust issues. They don’t mention any of the bad parts. Stupid fucking Disney. How are girls meant to cope in real life! What are we meant to do when it’s not all happy endings? Not all smiles and romantic kisses? What are we meant to do when shit gets real?

I have no idea.

I properly have no idea. I am completely lost. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be in a proper relationship. Sometimes I think I can’t do it. I’m not meant to be in a serious relationship. With past boyfs, when things have gotten a bit shit, or we’ve had an argument, then BOOM! Relationship over. I’m like Chandler. When it starts to get too real, then it’s time to walk away.

But I don’t wanna do that. I wanna be in a relationship. A proper relationship. Just don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing!

And so, Walt Disney, I am blaming you. Why did you never show us girls what life is like after the happy ever after? Would it really be that bad to see Aladdin and Jasmine have an arguement over living arrangements? Or for Snow White’s Prince to show hunnerz o jealousy cos she’s hanging out with 7 men all the time? That would make for interesting viewing. That would help us out in the future!

Urgh.

Slappy’s back.

16 Mar

And I am over the moon!! I missed him so much, and am so glad he’s back. I went to go pick him up at the airport. I made this banner to wave at the airport:

 

Mega keen!

But do you know what’s poop? He didn’t arrive till 10.45pm, and you know me, I can’t seem to stay awake past 6pm these days. So by the time I drove us back to Glasgow, I was shattered. I fell asleep straight away.

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The Lonely Weekend

13 Mar

So, the first Slappy Free weekend this year. How did I cope?! Oh, alright. Been a bit lonely, no one to hug, no one to smooch. But hey, when you’re dating a rockstar, you gotta get used to them going on tour.
Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve had wee Keisha to keep me company. Wee Keisha has been there for me to snuggle.

You remember Keisha right? Here’s a picture of us to jog your memory:
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Lonely this weekend

10 Mar

To the tune of “Lonely This Christmas” by Mud

Try to imagine
A bed that’s really cold
Try to imagine
Lying in it all alone
That’s where I’ll be
Since you left me
No snuggles, no one to hold
What can I do without you?
I got no one, no one to bone

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Seriously, you are pathetic!

6 Mar

I decided I miss him too much already, and have changed my profile picture to one of us together.

What’s even sadder, is that it’s the same profile picture he has. So not only do I have one of us together, but the McSlappersons have MATHCING profile pictures.

Right, seriously love. Get a life.

Seven Day Plan

6 Mar

So since that boyfriend of mine is leaving me high and dry, I need a plan of what to do, to fill the void, the gaping hole in my life during his seven day abscence.

The plan is: GET A LIFE!!

I mean seriously, how pathetic am I!! It’s only seven days!!! And I’m working for 6 of them!! So like, I wont have time to miss him, I’ll be too busy working and sleeping. Jeezo Judy, don’t become that person. Just because Slappybabes is away, doesn’t mean your life has to stop. Sure, Slappy is your world, but you know, you can have a life outside of him. Go out for a walk! Smell the roses! See your pals! GET A LIFE!

Jeezo Judy. You are pathetic.